For now, I’m taking the notion to start logging again. The last dream brought mask design to the forefront for a different season. I need ask permission to remember and draw. The mask images come sometimes and let them go. I have not been going to task on using dreams for artistic creation in many a year. Right now, I am feeling stronger and more patient when awake. It will be easier to flesh out the details verbally and with sketches into the afternoon. Carpe Diem when immediately awakening is difficult. Some days I just cannot pull myself to write that early. I figure that it is all the same problem around sleep. The half state as I am falling asleep is rich and replete with solving studio issues and writer’s block. I am better at waking myself and scripting solutions, but even fried say I have to draw the line. Otherwise I’ll be working all day and all night with no rest in sight. Now I can add on mornings while waking from dreams and Delta like healing. A massive gasp upon waking used to occur twice a week. Surely I was at the end of consciousness and clinging to the veil every morning that happened. Bringing word and image back from dream state is the only rule then. Surely, any scrap come REM or deeper is welcome to the logs and sketchbooks those days. Pushing it those mornings is another difficulty when you are hardly awake, blood sugar low, and being cold to touch.
As I write, old dreams are resurfacing. It might be worth the look at old notebooks for scraps of dreams. One of the first objects I recognized this morning were the art books I made earlier this year for Murderer’s Row. I am drawn to start again for some reason and not let anything get in the way. It is the sewing machine work and the textures that are scintillating and seductive again. It would be the perfect place to record dream imagery and develop it. It would be the perfect place to revisit old studio issues that I have not touched since before 2003. Shifting backwards and forward keeps my mind interested. I have not gotten bored with any effort I make since I started working again. Pulling from my history enriches everything, including writing. My fear is leaving. It has motivated me and now has nothing more to draw from. My fear is leaving.
Meanwhile, it is grunt work for the next two months. I have quilt entries to prepare for March. The task involves a healthy amount of handwork. Then perhaps there will be a break from most things thread and back to painting. I just bought a better grade of gouache. I am looking forward to the shift.
As ever, stay hungry and curious.