I try in my heart of hearts to find something novel to tell you each day. I fear of returning to previous topics in the case it would bore you to tears. Even if the nuance sticks in my gut to speak out. Out of his grace understanding my need to communicate my neighbor has released my censor from gripping my muse on to death. He says I can repeat myself and build a character and point space in your in mind. But with you permission only, and I ask today of you to quietly fight me in battle or become a knight to your muse as long as I continue to use this virtual pencil and paper. But still even that was not it, it was a request and lo a challenge. My next door neighbor asked me to share magic with you. Now just wait a minute on a bottle of Holy Oil for my dispatching. Now that I've admitted guilt, I ask you read on and know where I sit. It is not a position of hate, vain glory or despising. I've come to this balance and understanding well over more than a decade to understand where my Lord graces is also where I stand. Chaser: My studies that make me green, namely herbalism, do not conflict with where faint beats of the heart sway to understand each postulate, proverb and parable.
What started this, in my mind, was washing my hands gently in the bathroom sink. The more I wrung my hands the sharper the vision became. I saw the ocean and a longing on memory did not heed the length of the running water. I saw the beach and the Atlantic Ocean. It was the first time I had ever been at a beach. I think I was younger than ten, tall as the others and blessed with a slight pooge around my waist. My new found summer friend and I scoped the sands for shells and rocks. The colors I remember were blue on blue, peach and tan. I could not understand why the water went so far without a break like land or a tree. I had seen a bit of the swamps with bare remainders of cypress and pine spoking up through the dark motionless waters. We had a few hours to explore, but of course I was not allowed to go far. I was getting a little bored and did not stick to the beach. Getting cool and out of the sun was the idea, so I walked into the ocean. The cool swirling around my ankles felt like bliss compared to the sun burn forming on my back. I stepped over rocks and pull a few shells with every wave. What I did not notice was that I was slowly inching out with the waves as they returned from this fraction of a percentage of an inch of the coastal line. I hear a call and came back with difficulty. Who knew about an ocean towline that work in only one direction? The last part of the memory was another look out into the ocean.
I would go back to the time share in later years, but I never got back to the ocean. That seem to set the scene for me and a penchant longing for water. Both internally and externally. I've had dreams and meditations of water, but to be a peace and not play into the fear of drowning has taken work. I turned off the water finally and returned to my room. I wanted to calm down before I sat down to write. A mentor, told me some odds and ends about wise people and stones. Not like the ones she reads by, but the larger set of limestone and shale ringed around in places across the planet. The I heard my dear sweet neighbors request loud and clear. "Please tell me something magical." He knew I was brainstorming and well, the timing was excellent. I can not tell you much about water except to try to show you my experience, hoping you'll garner something, anything that can help you navigate your path with a little more interests than passivity.
The details are vague and foggy, but I'll tell you what is preserved in my mind's logs. My mentor explained the power in creating circles. I knew that a spiral was a energy generator. Visual more that actual measurement of BTUs of heat. A circle could not be far from that. Take into account the cycles of the sun and earth. Ellipses yes, but roughly circles. Couple with wooden (Native American) and stone (European) circle to tell the season of the earth and keeping time with the universe. It boils down to a circle as a unit. My mentor went on to explain the building even small circle creates energy/power. I had forgotten all this till years ago. I'm off in the forest, trespassing no doubt, looking around to get the lay of the land for the Medicine Wars Project which involves writing and art. Seeing cattle at a distance, I took a detour by going down hill to scout land formations for mapping. I was also making time for the day. Unemployed,virtually homeless and desperate for something to do I passed over water , shale chips and more pebbles. My mind broke again for the day and I picked up a hand full of rock and started making stone circles. No wishes, no demands, no spells and no incantations at hand. I had no idea of time. It was me and the rocks. Two or three cycles into it I continued building till the sky started turning almost dark blue. I said thank you and hoped the cattle wouldn't break whatever I just crafted into being. I survived for another day and told no one of my work till today.
The last working was about four years ago. I was vacationing with relatives and friends. Off on a walk on the camping grounds I revisited a place where the three of us saw a man fishing. I did not want to fish, I just want to see the water. It must be good water, place to be still and a place to hide. The fisherman caught nothing. I sat down in the water close to where he stood the day before. The cool jarred my memory and I started pulling stones from mud and deeper water to build. Cycle after cycle in the water and it got higher and higher and wider and wider. I wondered if the little fish would swim in like the trap I set back in the woods to catch spots or trout. It was just a wooden bird cage, but it must have been the beginnings of my repurpose, reuse, recycle bent. I built till the afternoon heat left and my hunger got a hold on me. A point to me of the venture is getting to no man's land to create, takes training , sometimes force and a willingness to let go of the usual. You have to get over normality, because it can rewrite your brain to never see what is truly right in front of your face.